ok grace, i think we have a few that are similar here goes...
1.own a coffee farm : )
2. live in a foreign country working
3. work for a non-prof company, ideally IJM something along those lines
4. have a room just for reading, filled with tons of bookshelves, a fire place and lots of windows
5. move somewhere out west, probably Colorado
6. zip-lining...a little more legit than the last
7. travel the world, going to the most random places
8. since i was in 4th grade i have said that i will one day work in an orphanage in Africa, and it is still my hearts desire, even though its trendy.
I'm drawing a blank now, so this is all i gots!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
A year later
Well, today a year ago, i packed up everything i had, sold what i could and moved to Chattanooga,Tn. I left Massachusetts, from one unknown to another. I am so thankful of where God has brought me. I have never felt so much joy and contentment. Even though this feeling does not last, it is something i have to chose. Something I have faith in, and believe in. God is doing amazing things in my life, amazing people in my life. I feel so much love.
These past few weeks were a huge indicator that growth is occurring. I'm not going to get into too much, but i had a lot of things happening to me,paralyzing fear, horrible dreams that stayed with me all day, I had a person i did not know come up to me and tell me things about myself. It became very clear to me that I was making a lot of progress and this was another choice i would make. Every choice I have had to make comes back to my biggest problem. Trust. Trusting that God loves me enough to guide me through this and trust that He will not leave me. Every thing thrown at me that is a choice to lose focus, I have to keep choosing that God is going to get me through this. I do believe this, I do trust that God loves me more than I can even imagine and that my concept of love and the way God loves me is something i can't even comprehend. I am in constant awe of him. It makes me so joyful, the moments in the day where you just know God is revealing parts of how much he loves me, protecting me and guiding me. I desire to grow so much, to keep learning, loving others and learning how to love well and being reminded that we are all under grace. The more i grow closer to God, i want it so badly for everyone else. I want so badly for the ones i left back in Chattanooga to have what I have. To know how deeply they are loved, and they are not another person that God has forgotten, that there is healing in the pain in suffering.
I am thankful for where I have been, the experiences I've had and people I've met. They have all given me something that i could learn from and I couldn't forget them if i wanted to. I have been on one hell of a journey of running and restlessness. When i look back on the experiences I've had, L'Abri, ex boyfriends, moving where i wanted, it wasn't me. I don't even feel attached to those experiences, I don't even feel like i did those things. I am so thankful for that. It doesn't mean that there isn't a lot of things going on in my life that aren't bad. There are quite a few, but i know God is using them for something else. I can't let those things make me lose focus of where God is taking me. I just know he is going to use them and restore me fully.
These past few weeks were a huge indicator that growth is occurring. I'm not going to get into too much, but i had a lot of things happening to me,paralyzing fear, horrible dreams that stayed with me all day, I had a person i did not know come up to me and tell me things about myself. It became very clear to me that I was making a lot of progress and this was another choice i would make. Every choice I have had to make comes back to my biggest problem. Trust. Trusting that God loves me enough to guide me through this and trust that He will not leave me. Every thing thrown at me that is a choice to lose focus, I have to keep choosing that God is going to get me through this. I do believe this, I do trust that God loves me more than I can even imagine and that my concept of love and the way God loves me is something i can't even comprehend. I am in constant awe of him. It makes me so joyful, the moments in the day where you just know God is revealing parts of how much he loves me, protecting me and guiding me. I desire to grow so much, to keep learning, loving others and learning how to love well and being reminded that we are all under grace. The more i grow closer to God, i want it so badly for everyone else. I want so badly for the ones i left back in Chattanooga to have what I have. To know how deeply they are loved, and they are not another person that God has forgotten, that there is healing in the pain in suffering.
I am thankful for where I have been, the experiences I've had and people I've met. They have all given me something that i could learn from and I couldn't forget them if i wanted to. I have been on one hell of a journey of running and restlessness. When i look back on the experiences I've had, L'Abri, ex boyfriends, moving where i wanted, it wasn't me. I don't even feel attached to those experiences, I don't even feel like i did those things. I am so thankful for that. It doesn't mean that there isn't a lot of things going on in my life that aren't bad. There are quite a few, but i know God is using them for something else. I can't let those things make me lose focus of where God is taking me. I just know he is going to use them and restore me fully.
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